As a single Christian woman in leadership, I often find that people are curious about my marital status. Recently I had a conversation with someone who wanted to play matchmaker and connect me with his friend. When I told him that I wasn’t interested and was content and happy where I was, he contested. To him, I was being dishonest with myself. He, a married man, couldn’t understand how I, an unmarried woman, could be content.
After a few months passed, I bumped into him again and again he tried to play matchmaker. I told him that I simply wasn’t interested and that he shouldn’t force it. When I told him my relationship status was my business and that I was happy where I was, he said something that irks me to this day: “Marriage is the closest you can come to being like Christ.”
His mentality reflects a skewed perspective that makes traditional marriage roles the Christian ideal, especially for women. It defines people through the lens of romantic relationships, not through the lens of Christ and community. To say that to be married is the closest we can come to being like Christ—a single man who died alone on a cross—is near heretical. Continue reading “Khristi Adams – A Celebration of Singleness”
The issue of present unnecessary delay in the age of marriage in developed countries is brought again to our attention, this time in a book by Ted Cunningham.
Here is an interview with the author, by Ruth Moore, from CT’s Her.meneutics blog.
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What was the impetus for this book?
It was based on our marriage ministry at Woodland Hills. The more I started meeting with 20-somethings, it made me realize you guys just need somebody to picture a special future for you. Your parents didn’t do it; your colleges didn’t do it; the churches you grew up in didn’t do it. They didn’t tell you that marriage is a great thing, something to look forward to, and something you’re going to enjoy. You’re delaying it because you’re doing exactly what you were modeled and taught, so I want to give you a different perspective. Continue reading “Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage”
“Why aren’t you married yet?” “When are you going to settle down?” “Why can’t a pretty girl (or handsome guy) like you find a husband (or wife)?”
Singles sometimes hear these questions from well-meaning friends or relatives, which can make them feel as though they are fifth-wheels — even at church.
But societal and church changes in attitudes about single adults have helped congregations begin to see the need for ministry to them.
Churches are more accepting of singles than they were 30 years ago,” noted Dennis Franck, national director for single adult and young adult ministries for the Assemblies of God. Continue reading “Single but not alone”