Sarah Bessey – 15 Practices for a Good Marriage

Johnny Cash



  1. Put the other person first. This sounds pretty simple and straight forward but it’s probably the hardest. We’ve always called it “you first.” Choose each other first and always.
  2. Make it a priority to make each other better at being yourselves. Whatever goodness or calling you see in one another, celebrate it and strengthen it, speak it out and pursue it together. Set each other free to fly and when necessary give one another a good hard push out of the nest with a cheery “you’ll be fine, you’ve got this!”
  3. Assign positive intent to one another.
  4. Faithfulness and intimacy in heart, in mind, in spirit, in body.
  5. Spend time together. Like a lot a lot a lot of time. Especially time to have fun and laugh and make private memories. We have always found that a lot of small or daily talk has to happen before the big heart and life and dream talks have room to breathe and grow between us.
  6. Guard your words to one another and don’t speak careless or cruel words to or over or about one another – those words take seed in your own heart as well as your partner’s heart – they will bear fruit for years in your lives. Speak words of life.
  7. [I’d put something about sex here but our parents subscribe to this e-newsletter so just yeah…..yeah.]
  8. A lifelong love will require equal parts romance and grit. Be ready to show up.
  9. Talk about everything dear to your hearts and mundane in the daily and then keep talking through the years especially when you’re feeling like you’re in conflict. Avoid manipulation or control or passive aggressive crap.
  10. Don’t ever make any big decisions unless you’re in complete agreement. Trust each other’s instincts.
  11. Learn to let small things go and to forgive even before asked.
  12. Weave your lives together and build a shared family narrative. Remind each other of your love story and keep building on the foundations of it. Believe it’s a love story worth embodying even in the middle places of love.
  13. Give each other room and permission to change in profound and life-altering ways. You will both do a lot of changing in ways you can’t even fathom or imagine – keeping pace with each other’s new selves will mean you grow together even if you don’t always agree.
  14. When you are suffering or struggling, make it the discipline of your marriage to turn towards one another instead of away from one another. Those deserts and wounds will become part of the fabric of your love story; heal each other steadily over the years.
  15. Make Jesus – knowing him and following him – the centre of your home.

Read HERE the entire article.



Author: DanutM

PhD in theology Director for Faith & Development Middle East & Eastern Europe Region World Vision International

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