Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage

The issue of present unnecessary delay in the age of marriage in developed countries is brought again to our attention, this time in a book by Ted Cunningham.

Here is an interview with the author, by Ruth Moore, from CT’s Her.meneutics blog.

* * *

What was the impetus for this book?

It was based on our marriage ministry at Woodland Hills. The more I started meeting with 20-somethings, it made me realize you guys just need somebody to picture a special future for you. Your parents didn’t do it; your colleges didn’t do it; the churches you grew up in didn’t do it. They didn’t tell you that marriage is a great thing, something to look forward to, and something you’re going to enjoy. You’re delaying it because you’re doing exactly what you were modeled and taught, so I want to give you a different perspective.

Your book is geared toward a very specific demographic: people who are young and in love, and people are saying they’re too young for marriage. What can other demographics — like young singles — get out of the book?

I’m not pushing the book on people who want to stay single and selfish — which is who I meet most of the time. I get the I Corinthians 7 argument. I totally understand it. I don’t meet many people in their 20s who are staying single out of service to Christ. Most 20-somethings I meet are pursuing independence, which has become a socially acceptable term for selfishness. It’s, “I want more years with me. I want more years to do my own thing, to be my own person, to care for myself, to buy things for myself, to consume.”

The young women I know who are single are not so because they rejected 50 eligible men, but because they haven’t met anybody they feel is worth spending their life with. What’s your advice for them?

I get pretty frustrated with that. If you’re going to be a pro-marriage church like Woodland Hills, you also have to be a pro-dating church. You have to teach young men to take initiative, which they really haven’t learned. They’ve been taught to fear love and be paranoid of marriage; how are they going to make a move, a first step on asking a young lady out? Don’t just go to a community where there are singles; that’s not enough. They search for churches with singles groups and churches with marriage groups. That’s not enough; you have to go to a pro-marriage church. You have to be part of a community where the little boys are being challenged to become men.

Read HERE the entire interview.

Author: DanutM

Anglican theologian. Former Director for Faith and Development Middle East and Eastern Europe Region of World Vision International

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