World Ideologies Explained with Cows

FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a
barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the
cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take
care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers.
The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations
say you should need.

FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors
bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most
“need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the
cows drop dead of starvation.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the
government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you
can and sell it on the black market.

PERESTROIKA
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia
takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell
it on the “free” market.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who
gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can
feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to
milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours
the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms
accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM
You don’t have any cows.  The bank will not lend you money to buy
cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.

PURE ANARCHY
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your
neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.

Author: DanutM

Anglican theologian. Former Director for Faith and Development Middle East and Eastern Europe Region of World Vision International

One thought on “World Ideologies Explained with Cows”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s