“Why aren’t you married yet?” “When are you going to settle down?” “Why can’t a pretty girl (or handsome guy) like you find a husband (or wife)?”
Singles sometimes hear these questions from well-meaning friends or relatives, which can make them feel as though they are fifth-wheels – even at church.
But societal and church changes in attitudes about single adults have helped congregations begin to see the need for ministry to them.
Churches are more accepting of singles than they were 30 years ago,” noted Dennis Franck, national director for single adult and young adult ministries for the Assemblies of God.
Society accepts a singles lifestyle more readily today than in the past. “Society is ahead of the church. It’s not always healthy acceptance, but it is acceptance, and that has affected the church,” he said.
And singles, primarily “the more mature and emotionally healthy ones,” are “integrating into the church more than they used to … and are getting involved and serving, but there is a large group that is not and that needs an entry point into the church and ministry,” Franck added.
He identifies six levels of church sensitivity and targeted ministry to singles—from little sensitivity and no ministry to very high sensitivity, with a targeted, multifaceted ministry overseen by a full-time staffer exclusive to the ministry.
Options for ministry to single adults vary depending on makeup of the broader community, the church family itself, the number of singles involved and available resources, regardless of church size.
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